Diary of a conference talk, pt.3: here comes the Fear!

And so, I find myself mere minutes before midnight, on the day that really I like to have committed to a ‘storyline’ so I can make my slides, writing and rewriting.

Just did my first run through (very rough) with The Husband and it was only okay. Not great, just okay. I like to aim for really rather good so I am somewhat short of my benchmark. I have one section that I really like but doesn’t truly fit; my historical examples don’t tie back clearly enough to my main message yet; the jokes aren’t funny enough and the facts aren’t clear enough.

Perhaps part of my trouble is I find all the meandering offtopic so interesting that I’m struggling to stay focused on the main message. I want everyone to love this topic, essentially a historical romp with bells on, as much as I do but I am aware that will probably be people stuck in the room tweeting ‘What the fuck is she going on about?’. Do I accept this and carry on regardless and hope that they pick up the rhythm and see the connections or do I spell out every link and risk insulting others?

See, this is the part where I start to second guess myself and the value of my knowledge – if you can call it that. I think that people will question the value if they aren’t given a ‘top 5 things to do to your site when you leave this room’, but in this case I want to stretch people’s imagination a little.

It’s scary. I don’t want to get up on stage and bore 500 people to death. I want them to learn something from me and go away thinking “I enjoyed that. It made sense. I want to learn more.”

And so I shall continue working on this outline.

If you ever think that people who speak at conferences are 100% confident about how their stuff will be received when they get up on stage, go back and read this post again. Feeling the fear and Keynoting it anyway.